Roadtrip!Uhh.Roadtrip! Ha-ha!This is life on the road, you know?
Yeah.It’s all part of it.It’s, it’s a wonderful journey,
isn’t it?Pass the parcel, innit.Yeah, exactly, pass the parcel of
life, do you know what I mean? On
the road.Uh, Kevin. Can you pass me the map,
please, geezer?I’ve just got to navigate Deeky.That’s it, mate. Aw, ruddy trusted
A-Z, none of that navigation shit.You know what I mean,
real men use maps. You know?So, Deeky.IN SAT NAV VOICE:
In the next junction take a right.200 yards bear right.Deeky, you’re getting this, yeah?Yeah, we’re going left.Deeky.Roundabout approaching.
Take the third exit.Bear right.
DECOY SIGHSNo, actually,
take the fourth exit, Deeky.Actually, you know what,let’s just go round it and I’ll
recognise it when I see it.Cos on the map it looks
a bit different than that, isn’t it?OK, one, so that’s the first exit.That’s number one, that’s number
two, keep going,not this one, not this one.Not this one. Next one.Bear right.Uh…Go right.Bear right.OK, this, no, not this one!
No, Deeky, Deeky.Bear right.
DECOY SIGHSUh, Chabuddy G is very well
travelled, you know what I mean?Um, obviously originally
from Lahore.And I’ve been so many places,
I mean, we’re talking Luton.We’re talking Walthamstow.We’re talking Leeds one time.Aw, allow it, man.
Yeah, just take an exit, mate.No, no, keep going,
mate, cos that’s the wrong one.‘Hounslow West, Hounslow East.’Hounslow Central.Been everywhere.Chabzy, make a fucking decision,
mate!Uh, take the…There we go.You know what, actually.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.You figured it out,
you figured it out.I feel a bit sick now.‘I, I adapt, mate.
I’m a social chameleon.’Anywhere I go, I adapt. You know?So, I go there, I speak the dialect.
You know, like, I went up to Leeds
one time.And I realised they speak
a bit different up there,different language almost, you know.So, I went up there and I went, “‘Ey
up, lad, you all right, uh, ducky?“All right, uh, you know, eh,
all right, mucky, mucker.”You know, I just picked up on little
things they say, you know?Uh, they don’t say the. They say,
“Get in’t car.”So I went, “Get in’t work.”You know? And uh, eating, you know,
as a funny joke, actually.I said, um, when I told them my
name, up north,I said, “Hi, Chabuddy.”And they said, “Chip butty?”They thought I was saying,
“Chip butty.”Which is like a, you know,
sandwich and that.And I went, “No, no, it’s Chabuddy!”Fuckin’ ‘ell,
we nearly there yet, Decoy?I need a piss as well.We’re nearly
there, we’re just taking a few shortcuts via this lovely…Take the
scenery in, it’s very scenic route.Look how tiny this road is.
I love the country. Smell the air.Mm. What’s it smell of?It stinks.Yeah, well, you’ll get
that round here, mate.Mm.How long we going to be, man?
Keep going.On the map it looks tiny.
Yeah, but…But it’s actually really far.
It’s all right, yeah.Nearly there, boys.