One mistake… can shatter your dreams One mistake… can crush your heart With one mistake… I broke the world There was blood… hell, there was a lot of it. *Item Song Starts Playing – I’m a crazy lady, I’m a crazy lady* Chhaya, tea! Listen! How about some onion fritters next time These rubber ones are hard to swallow! So they want the same freedom as men… but not the same risks O-k-a-y And who is going to save us… … from fritters like this. As if I have nothing better to do than wait for a reply. Now women have a problem with even being looked at! Hey, let madam get on first! It’s not like I’m trampling her, am I? What nonsense is this? It’s called the law of inertia. Really? That’s a new excuse! Excuse me? I was texting, the bus braked, and I lost my balance. Again, on behalf of physics, I apologize. Why do you girls always think that the whole world is out to get you? Hey! That’s no way to talk to ladies! Hey… don’t try to be a hero over nothing. It’s not like she’s going to cuddle you and take you home. … then make the kids’ breakfast, get them dressed and take them to the school bus. And then after work you go home and the whole grind begins again. Being a mother is such a difficult job. And I don’t mind… it’s just that society doesn’t appreciate the job of a mother. OK, I’m going to call you back. So you think what I am saying is funny? Not at all… in fact, I totally understand whatever you’re saying. A mother’s job really is difficult. Who knows how many mothers lose their lives every year feeding and dressing their kids. Listen, Kiran! ‘Society doesn’t appreciate mothers’ Everyone knows about ‘mother’s love’ but does anyone talk about ‘father’s love’? People always think of their mother when they get emotional. ‘I swear on my mother’ they say, does anyone say ‘I swear on my father’? Forget that, tell me something – have you seen Mother India? Yes… Ok. And Father India? No. Why? Because- Exactly. Because no one’s ever made a film called ‘Father India’. And you think society doesn’t appreciate mothers. Your husband is so lucky! Sir, the cross-platform strategy and framework. Neha will send you the projections by end of day. She’s leaving at 4 today. Oh my God! Pregnant again? Is it even legal to have so many kids? She’s not feeling well. It’s that time of the month. This ‘time of the month’ thing comes around every month! Don’t be insensitive! She’s in pain! So am I, sir! I’ve been working on this project for three months- What do you think? It’s good. Let’s start on this soon. Soon? Why not today? Kiran, you’re asking for 3 lakhs! It will take time to get approved- Sir? The plan for the women’s picnic is ready. Sure. Here, sir. Tempo travellers, 2… this is the resort… Sorry, sir, we went a little over-budget. No problem. This is a ‘thank you’ to the women for the great work they do. Thank you, sir. You’re welcome. Sir, this is the- GET OUT! Hey, Kunal, I’ve got a date with Megha, bro! Let’s meet tomorrow, ok? Leaving your best friend hanging for a chick? I’m proud of you, bro! Have fun tonight, I want all the dirt tomorrow. Yes, yes, I promise. Bye. Yeah… Kunal. Free? Yeah, I’m waiting outside. Be right there. What? I knew the bitch would ditch you. I’ll be right there. You know there is actually a thing called ‘marital rape’? If you’re married… then how can it be rape? It’s like calling me a thief for taking money from my own wallet! Fact… Women want equality… … but they want us to open the doors. They want us to pull the chairs out, to do the heavy lifting. Fact… If they swear at us, then they’re feminists… … but if we swear at them, then we’re assholes. Fact… They… took the ‘the weaker sex’ label… … stuck it on a hammer… … and now they use that hammer to smash our heads… And if we ever ask, “Why are you bashing our heads in, sis?” Then we’re chauvinists! Fact… Life… is a war between Chest and Breast. And Breast will always win. I’ve had enough of this. What kind of a world is this? Is this why ‘male’ and ‘fail’ rhyme? It’s like they keep kicking us between the legs, and we apologize to them for the inconvenience. They kick us, we say sorry, kick, sorry, kick, sorry… Enough. Now give US a chance. Put us in their place, and put them in ours, and then let’s see. We won’t be whining about ‘feminism’ then. We won’t be waving this ‘gender equality’ flag around. We’ll put our hands together and say ‘THANK YOU’ Flip it. Flip it… Flip it… Flip it… *Item song starts playing – I’m an insane man, insane man* Kiran, tea! Am I cooking alone today? Whaa? So… looks like someone heard me last night. That’s why all this… What things? Put the onions in the oil! Ok… let’s play along Oh! Be careful! Watch what you’re doing! Listen! Yes? Do we have flour? Yes! So why have you used cement to make this porridge? I got burnt by hot oil! Have a bite of this porridge… you’ll forget all about that pain. Enough of this joke! I’m late for work. Forgive him! IS THAT ANY WAY TO SPEAK TO HIS MOTHER? HE’S A BOY, HE SHOULD KNOW HIS PLACE! I’LL HAVE HIM QUIT HIS JOB AND SIT AT HOME! Whaaat? Hello, despo… Hey! What is it? If you have a problem with people looking you should have stayed at home. Hey! Let the gents get on first! Why don’t you wait for the next bus with your gents! Getting fresh? Can’t you stand straight? The whole bus felt that jolt, not just you. You look good, but not that good. Get your head out of the clouds. I was going to apologize, but you boys think all girls are rapists. Start shouting the moment you see a girl, ‘help, help’! What! WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?! Sir, here, take my seat. What- Sit down. That time of the month, no? What? Mine too. Really bad, bro. Stop the bus… STOP THE BUS! Nooooooooo! They’re about to announce the Marketing Manager post. Men work here only as sweepers, or secretaries. I will never be more than a cute face and a butt for Gayatri. Late night work, outstation travel… how can a man handle all that. You’re a boy. What happened to gender equality?